| < ott | DRAMA | COMEDY | FACTUAL | CHILDREN'S | LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT | FEATURES | INTERVIEWS | REVIEWS | BLOG | search > |
| BADDIEL AND SKINNER UNPLANNED: WEEK THREE by Graham Kibble-White, Jack Kibble-White and Jane Redfern |
September 2000
|
|
|
|
|
More
by Graham Kibble-White |
SHOW 9: SUNDAY 11/06/00 IT'LL NEVER WORK: Dave asks Shona (cf. Secretary) what she is studying. "Chemistry." After some silence, Frank: "Have you ever heard the phrase comedy cul-de-sac?" SECRETARY: Tonight it's David's choice. Shona describes herself as a "Final year student". "How many final years have you done?" Frank asks. THAT'S YOU THAT IS: Once again an audience member is described as looking like Dave. Another questioner looks like Jerry Sadowitz. I AM FRANK SKINNER: Frank went to Madame Tussaud's and discovered that a young Boris Yeltsen killed his friend whilst playing with a live hand grenade. WHERE'S STATTO?: Sitting outside a café, Frank met the lady who bought his and Dave's old flat in Kilburn. The Jerry Sadowitz look-alike says he met Frank in a record shop and Frank claimed that Dave was the one who was stopping them doing another series of Fantasy Football. Frank (in protest): "I didn't know he'd turn up on television!" SEMITE SAY: Dave is "old show business". Frank: "It's the Jew in you!" Dave plays "Spot the Jew" when watching TV. HOMOCURIOUS: Frank: "I haven't had a Jew in me since I was living with you." David ponders whether Paul Simon is gay. Is Des Lynam Gay? Frank's T-shirt is tight and pink. BEST QUESTION: One questioner wants to know what Dave and Frank think of a flat in Stoke Newington costing £130,000. Frank: "What you have to remember is that that's how much me and Dave spend on a good cigar." SONG: No. 21 - Something Stupid IN CONCLUSION: The show's ability to create running jokes is reflected in Frank admitting that he has been sent a free selection of Anusol. Real life and TV start to collide as one of the questioners brings up on television a conversation he once had with Frank in a record shop. Apart from these bright moments this is - once again - an anonymous episode. SHOW 10 - MONDAY 12/06/00 IT'LL NEVER WORK: Frank's Lord Charles impression. SECRETARY: Bruce has a bit of a cold and is eventually given a Lemsip. He makes films for a living. Short films. THAT'S YOU THAT IS: Frank had a girlfriend who only went out with him because he looks like James Woods. Frank also reckons he looks like Stan Laurel. One of the audience looks like "Mike Baldwin's bride to be". Another looks a little like Nigel Clough. I AM DAVID BADDIEL: Dave passed the Blind Date party before coming on to do the show. WHERE'S STATTO?: Dave met a bloke called Roy in the gym who claims he knows Frank. Dave: "He's one of those blokes who talks to you whilst he's naked." HOMOCURIOUS: After a conversation on smoking Frank asks Dave "Speaking of a little bit of a puff on the side - didn't you go to college with Prince Edward?" Frank casts aspersions on how gay parents would reprimand their children (cue girly slapping motion). Ms OGYNY: Frank: "Sisters are doing it for themselves. Make sure you turn round that ring - that's what I say." Frank recounts a tearful airport farewell from tonight's Coronation Street: "As she walked off her arse looked really big." WORST QUESTION: "Who would play you in a film?" Yawn. DISGRACE IN THE CROWD (of the series): Hawaiian shirted, orange-skinned chap with Marty Feldman eyes and a companion in stonewashed denims heckles throughout to the amusement of himself and said companion. At one point Dave just tells him to "Shut up" and later threatens to smack him in the face. It's all he deserves. SONG: No. 9 - Three Coins In The Fountain. "Three Hearts In The Fountain - what a horrible thought - just offal!" IN CONCLUSION: The boys give up trying to create amusing comedic concepts and get back to telling "funny stories." A more spirited and diverse audience ensures tonight's episode is relaxed and entertaining. Dave's disclosure of Prince Edward's secret college affair with one of Dave's (female) friends has Frank in fits, and provides another great live TV moment. SHOW 11 - TUESDAY 13/06/00 IT'LL NEVER WORK: Dave's groping a bit for laughs tonight ... he stumbles over his words early on and then his GM food joke bombs. Frank's "straw boater" pun barely floats. SECRETARY: The press have been suggesting the secretaries are actors from an agency. "What agency is that?" Frank wonders, "Dial-A-Retard?" Tonight's is Bill, who's slim enough to merit having an eating disorder (according to Dave) and is a civil servant in the Ministry of Agriculture. THAT'S YOU THAT IS: A bald man is picked on for being ... well, bald. Frank then decides he looks like Ian Hendry from The Avengers. "I'll get my coat" says man, "I should get your hat," says Frank. I AM DAVID BADDIEL: David's read Cybil Shepherd's autobiography. SEMITE SAY: "The Hairy Jews". Ms OGYNY: Jerry Hall has taken over from Kathleen Turner in The Graduate. "A tall bird with big tits." Frank and friends went to Brighton "nudie" beach to find only a big fat naked man. They went home again. DAVE'S MUM AND DAD: Dave's mum collects golf memorabilia, which was enough reason for the local kids to spray "GOLF IS CRAP" on the side of her car. BEST QUESTION: Not really a question, this. "Splittah!" shouts a bloke in the crowd when David shies away from telling a joke about Victor Obugo. "Are you from Lock, Stock?" asks Dave. ACE IN THE CROWD: Whilst in the middle of recounting a story about meditating on a Costa Rican beach, an audience member is heckled by another: "Tosser!" The mediating chap loses it - "If that fellow wants to kick-off later ..." he says, with accompanying "come on then" mannerisms. SONG: No. 11 - Oh, What A Night (too difficult); and then No. 5 The Final Countdown IN CONCLUSION: A fairly tepid episode which seems to lose the momentum quite badly. David is less that sure-footed in the first half and there seems to be little coming from the audience to inspire. The second half picks up a little, with the possibility of a fistfight between two men in the crowd. Otherwise, it's suddenly looking tired. SHOW 12 - WEDNESDAY 14/06/00 SECRETARY: It's not until the second half that they get around to picking a secretary. Jess is a Film & TV and Drama student. "Don't people do things like maths anymore?" THAT'S YOU THAT IS: An insurance broker in the audience looks like ... an insurance broker. In a restaurant in Cardiff (cf. I Am Frank Skinner) David got a free meal for himself and his crew because the restaurateur thought he was Steve Wright. A bloke in the crowd looks like he's been on a desert island, and could pass as a scruffy version of David. Donning David's glasses he's invited up onto stage. As is a balding fellow in cargo pants. David and Frank take their seats in the audience. Jess doesn't look anything like Princess Anne. I AM FRANK SKINNER: Frank was in the same restaurant in Cardiff (cf. That's You That Is) which had a picture of Frankie Valli on the wall. "I bet I know what kind of pizza he had ..." I AM DAVID BADDIEL: David had a synchronized massage (which doesn't require a nose-clip, nor does it mean you get to bring a mate with you.) WHERE'S STATTO?: The man who massaged Dave had previously massaged Frank - who didn't enjoy it. He's not very comfortable with his body, apparently. A bloke in the audience went to the same hairdresser as David who told him Dave is actually very dull. Ms OGYNY: As soon as Frank has had sex, he needs a cup of tea more than anything else. Perhaps he should get a Goblin Teasmade? Whilst on A Question of Sport, Frank made a crack about seeing a picture of Sue Barker sitting on a cliff. "I bet it will be cut out" he says. It was. ACE IN THE CROWD: Mark Roberts, 35, from Liverpool: "During the course of your show have you ever had any problems, has it all gone to plan?" Dave corrects him; there is no plan. "So if I did this ..." replies Roberts, donning a wig and ripping his clothes off. He's quickly bundled off the set. "Why is it when someone decides to strip, is it always an ugly fat bloke?" "That reminds me" says Frank, "I must get some winkles on my way home." (Roberts has said that his ambition is to streak at the US Superbowl.) SONG: No. 16 - The Lion Sleeps Tonight IN CONCLUSION: The series ends with a rousing singsong. It seems that a lot has happened in the last half-hour, with the usual crutch of the secretary underemployed, and the invasion of a streaker into the proceedings somehow summing up the programme perfectly. Frank and David are in a constant dialogue with the audience, coming back to specific people in conversation and - most obviously and significantly - finally swapping places with a couple of them. |
|
|