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| COLUMBO
- "MURDER BY THE BOOK" original US TX: Wednesday 15/09/71 reviewed by Patrick Eyers |
September
2000
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In 1931, at the XIIth Soviet televisual "Reds on the Box" retreat, the chairman, one J Stalin, proclaimed (in an often trivialised diktat), that the loss of one potential spectator from a classic programme was a tragedy; but that the loss of a million was merely a statistic easily liquidated by propaganda. How sad that this visionary of public broadcasting never lived to see his prophesy come true (even if he was talking about five-year programmes at the time). Indeed, if upon reading this article I can convince one person to view the programme in question it will be a personal success. The endless repetition of 1970s TV crime drama has left many bored and immune to the polo-necked, horn-rimmed glasses-wearing brigade who dominated our viewing back when flares were king and cars were cars. To most, repeat viewing of these polyester and neckerchief "classics" signifies one of two things; that there's nothing "better" on, or that the remote control is knackered. Of course, many rightly complain when the umpteenth repeat of Columbo turns up on a Bank Holiday Monday, or after the premature end to Crufts. But maybe, just maybe, that repeat will come from the golden era, when feature-length episodes of this deceptively simple format were laid down (on celluloid mind you) consequently helping shape the genre of intelligent, gripping cop TV so often taken for granted today. One particular episode of Columbo comes to mind. You may have glanced at it whilst ironing or entertaining elderly visitors. In 1971 the two soon to be famous Steve's, Bochco and Spielberg (fresh from his triumph on the cult-TV movie Duel), put their heads together to create a classic. The episode, "Murder by the Book" (last shown on BBC1 on 16 April 2000) was one of the earliest Columbo's to appear on TV and features the hallmark plot: we meet the protagonists, witness the murder and then await the arrival of the cigar-chomping, raincoat-entrenched detective. The sneaky plot divulged in this episode involves a murderer (Franklin, suavely overacted by the late Jack Cassidy, a staple of several episodes) a victim ("special guest star" Jim Ferris) and a blackmailer (the scary Barbara Colby). In traditional Columbo style, the assassin, having informed his victim that he intends to "bury the hatchet in style" (the hatchet being a creative split between the two after co-authoring 15 best-sellers), lures his crime-writing partner to forge him the perfect alibi, dispatches him with a bullet and then contrives to stay one step ahead of our "crumpled" hero, played by the indomitable Peter Falk. Apart from Kojak, it's hard to think of a TV-cop who has become so typecast for his donning of the badge, yet Falk rules the roost of homicide detectives because his style and pace never change. He spouts lines about his (never seen) wife, "Mrs Columbo loves your books/food/TV programme" and slowly torments the murderer (crucially revealed to us at the genesis of the episode) with loaded questions, choking cigar smoke and memorable one-liners. This episode has several, including, "actually, there is one more thing, not that it makes any difference", which is delivered to the murderer from the rear of the shot as he tries desperately to get out of his own house. Such modesty always reaps rewards of course. The cocky, manipulative Cassidy teases Falk with sarcasm (he has committed the perfect crime after all) "I'm beginning to like you 'loo-tenant'" and "how long have you been a lieutenant?" are prime examples. His downfall, however, is not long in coming. Sounds like your typical Columbo episode? Well it isn't, believe me. There are consummate Spielberg directorial touches including outrageous long shots (witness the first minute) edited into ultra close-ups of the murderer's face, revealing jackal-like teeth and unscrupulous eyes. Moreover, we are treated to a technical tour-de-force quite out of place in a TV-movie involving steadicam ventures through the crime scenes interspersed with endless shots of light and texture, be they from a car light or a midnight lake. Mixed together with a superb, jumpy Bernard Hermann-like score (Henry Mancini and Billy Goldengerg are credited) this episode is elevated to a classic. It has a modern feel; the script is very tight, and reveals its 30 years only in that there are no interruptions from modern-day paraphernalia like computers or cell-phones to distract from the narrative. Instead, what we get is a terrific story, undone only by a lack of strong female characters (this was the 1970s) and an ending that, although clever, is a minor disappointment. Oh, and for those who like their cooking fast and furious, Falk whips up a classic four-egg omelette with cheese, onion and "eggshells" in an inspired Ready Steady Cook special feature halfway through. A lesson for all L.A. cops. So, next time the holiday line-up features an episode of Columbo (and they were still being made two years ago!), be sure to check for this minor masterpiece. You will not be disappointed. Oh, and there was just one more thing I was a little confused about sir ... |
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